10 Signs You Are in a Situationship

In the ever-evolving landscape of modern dating, the term “situationship” has emerged as a way to describe a relationship that has not been clearly defined. It’s like being more than friends but not quite in a committed relationship. If you are wondering whether you are in one, you are not alone. Let’s dive into the 10 signs that might indicate you are in a situationship.

1. Lack of Clear Future Plans

In a situationship, talks about the future are often vague or avoided altogether. Unlike in a committed relationship, where partners typically discuss future plans and goals, in a situationship, the conversation about where things are heading tends to be ambiguous. This hesitance to define the relationship’s future can leave you feeling unsure about where you stand. 

As described in “He’s Just Not That Into You” by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, if someone is interested in a serious commitment, they will make it known. The book emphasizes that a lack of clear plans together often signifies a lack of serious intent.

2. You Have Not Met Their Friends or Family

Meeting a partner’s friends and family is a significant step in a relationship, signaling inclusion and seriousness. In a situationship, this milestone is often missing. You may find that you are not being introduced to any significant people in your partner’s life, which can feel isolating and suggest a lack of depth in the relationship. 

According to “The Relationship Cure” by John Gottman, such inclusion is a key step toward building shared meaning and a sense of belonging in a relationship. The absence of this step might indicate you are in a situationship.

3. On-and-Off Communication

If your communication patterns are unpredictable, with messages that are infrequent or only late at night, this is a sign of a situationship. Unlike a committed relationship, where partners regularly check in and communicate throughout the day, situationships often lack consistent communication, leaving you wondering when you will hear from them next.

4. No Emotional Support

In a healthy relationship, partners provide emotional support to each other. If you find that your partner is unavailable during tough times or is unwilling to share personal struggles or victories, it might indicate you are in a situationship. This lack of emotional depth suggests a surface-level connection.

5. You Keep Things Casual

Situationships often involve keeping things “light” and “fun,” with both parties avoiding deep conversations about feelings or the relationship itself. This can be enjoyable in the short term but frustrating if you are looking for a deeper connection.

6. Uncertainty About the Relationship Status

One of the hallmark signs of a situationship is not knowing how to describe your relationship to others. If you are unsure whether to call them your friend, partner, or something else entirely, it is likely a situationship.

7. No Public Acknowledgment

If your relationship seems to exist only in private, with no public acknowledgment or social media presence, this secrecy can indicate a situationship. While not all relationships need to be public, a complete lack of public acknowledgment might suggest a lack of commitment.

8. Your Gut Feeling Says It’s Not Right

Often, your intuition can signal that something is off. If you constantly feel uncertain and confused about where you stand, it is important to trust your gut feeling. This internal warning system can be telling you that you are not getting what you need from the relationship.

9. You Feel Stuck

Feeling like you are in limbo, neither moving forward nor backward, is a strong indicator of a situationship. This stagnation can lead to frustration, as you are unable to progress in the relationship or move on from it.

10. The Relationship is Centered Around Convenience

If your hangouts are more about when it is easy for them and not about really wanting to see each other, you are probably in a situationship. This means you might only meet up when it fits perfectly into one person’s day, showing that the relationship is not being put first. It is like being picked for a game only when it is super convenient, not because they really want you on the team. So, the times you get together seem more about them finding it easy than wanting to make special plans with you.

Recognizing these signs can be the first step toward understanding your relationship dynamics and deciding what you truly want. If you find that these signs resonate with your current situation, it might be time to have an open conversation with your partner about your needs and expectations. Remember, it is okay to want more from a relationship, and acknowledging that you are in a situationship is the first step toward finding what you are truly looking for.

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