Feeling mad at your partner is pretty normal in any relationship. But how you handle that anger can really make a difference. Instead of letting your temper lead the way, there are healthier ways to deal with those heated moments. Here, we will go over seven things you shouldn’t do when you are angry with your loved one.
1. Don’t Send That Mean Text
Feeling mad? You might want to let your partner have it with a text that tells them just how wrong they are. But wait a sec! Once that message is out, there’s no pulling it back. And, it could make things even worse between you two. Instead, take a deep breath and give yourself some time to chill. When you are calmer, you will find a way to say what you need without the burn.
Remember, the goal is to fix things, not escalate them. A cooled-off conversation can work wonders compared to a heated text. Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life” by Marshall B. Rosenberg. This book teaches how to express your feelings and needs without attacking, making it perfect for learning how to communicate effectively, even when you are angry.
2. Don’t Ghost
It’s tempting to just ignore calls or messages when you are upset, hoping your partner gets the hint. But this silent treatment only leads to more hurt and confusion. Open communication is super important, even when it feels hard. Let them know you need a bit of space to cool down, but don’t leave them in the dark about why you are upset. This way, they know you are not just ignoring them, and you are taking time to gather your thoughts.
3. Don’t Seek Comfort in the Opposite Sex
Feeling upset might drive you to talk to a friend from the opposite sex, thinking it’s no big deal. However, this can create unnecessary complications in your relationship. Stick to getting support from friends or family who your partner won’t see as a threat. This way, you keep the trust strong between you. Plus, it helps to talk to someone who can give you unbiased advice or just lend an ear without adding drama.
4. Don’t Hit
There’s never an excuse for getting physical in an argument. It is harmful and can have really serious outcomes. If you’re feeling so mad that you might lose control, it is crucial to step away and find someone professional to talk to. They can help you handle your anger in a way that’s safe for everyone. Learning to walk away and cool down is a sign of strength, not weakness.
5. No Name Calling
Calling your partner hurtful names might seem like a release, but it does more harm than good. Those words can leave lasting hurt. Focus on explaining how you feel without making it personal against them. After all, you are trying to fix a problem, not win a battle. Using kind words, even when you are upset, can make a big difference in how your message is received.
6. Don’t Withhold Love
When we are mad, it’s tempting to pull back our love or affection to punish our partner. But using love as a weapon is never okay. It’s important to keep showing care and respect, even when you disagree. “The 5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman is a great read that shows how to keep expressing love, even when times are tough, and reminds us that love should never be used as leverage. Keeping the flow of love and care even during disagreements shows maturity and commitment to the relationship.
7. Don’t Make Excuses Not to Talk
Dodging a tough conversation might seem easier, but staying silent can lead to even more bad feelings and misunderstandings. The best way forward is to face the issue together and talk it through openly. That’s how you will find solutions and start moving past the problem. Remember, communication is the bridge between confusion and clarity. By talking things out, you are not just solving the issue at hand, but you are also strengthening your ability to tackle future challenges together.
Getting angry with your partner is natural, but how you handle that anger matters a lot. Avoiding actions that can hurt your relationship further can make a big difference in working through disagreements. Remember, it’s all about communication, respect, and choosing to tackle problems together. With a bit of patience and understanding, you can navigate through those tough moments and come out stronger on the other side.
