Why does he text me everyday if he only wants friendship? 12 reasons according to psychology


It can be really confusing and a bit frustrating when a guy who says he just wants to be friends keeps texting you every day. Are these mixed signals? What does he really want? If you are scratching your head over this, you are definitely not alone. Many people find themselves wondering why someone who claims to just want friendship seems so keen on keeping the conversation going daily. Here’s a look at 12 reasons that might explain his behavior:

  1. He enjoys the attention

He might be texting you a lot simply because he enjoys the attention. Every time you respond, it gives his ego a little boost. It is reassuring for him to see that you are there, ready to chat whenever he reaches out. For him, these exchanges are like little affirmations that he is liked and valued. So, his frequent messages could be more about feeling good from your responses than about building towards something more serious.

In ‘Self Matters’ by Dr. Phillip McGraw, the need for personal validation and its impact on our actions is discussed. He points out that responses we receive, such as replies to texts, can serve as small yet powerful affirmations of our value to others, boosting our confidence and sense of self-worth. 

  1. He just got out of a relationship

If he has just come out of a relationship, he might be feeling a bit lonely and looking for someone to fill that void. Texting you is not necessarily about playing games or leading you on but it is more about him trying to feel connected to someone so he does not feel so alone. It is like he is using your conversations to smooth over the rough patch of a breakup, giving him some company as he adjusts to his new single life. This means he values your responses as they help bring some normalcy and comfort back into his daily routine.

In ‘Emotional First Aid,’ Dr. Guy Winch describes how individuals often seek social interaction as a way to mend the emotional wounds caused by a breakup. Engaging in conversations, such as texting, serves as a way to alleviate feelings of loneliness and regain a sense of normalcy and connection during the healing process.

  1. He is confused about what he wants

Sometimes, when a guy is texting you a lot but only wants to be friends, he might actually be a bit confused about his own feelings. It is like he is standing at a crossroads, unsure of which path to take. 

He enjoys talking to you and feels a connection, but he is not quite certain if he wants it to go beyond friendship. This uncertainty can cause him to send mixed signals, texting frequently as he tries to figure out what his heart is really telling him. 

  1. Keeping you as a backup

It is a bit tough to hear, but sometimes a guy might keep texting you because he sees you as a backup option. He enjoys your chats and likes having you around, so he keeps the conversation going to make sure you are still interested in him. 

This way, if his other romantic interests do not pan out, or if he eventually decides he wants to take things further with you, he has already kept the door open. It is not the fairest approach, and it might not be done with bad intentions, but it is a way for him to feel secure that he has options when it comes to his love life.

  1. He finds you interesting and intriguing

It could simply be that he finds you really interesting and enjoys your conversations a lot. Whether it is the topics you dive into or the way you express your thoughts, something about your texting style has him hooked. 

He looks forward to your messages and enjoys the exchange of ideas. This interest in what you have to say and how you say it makes him want to keep the connection alive, even if he is not looking for anything beyond friendship

  1. He might have feelings for you

Sometimes, a guy might say he just wants to be friends but his actions like texting you everyday suggest there might be more to it. He could actually have deeper feelings for you, but he is not quite ready to admit it, maybe not even to himself. This hesitation can make him keep things at a “just friends” level while he figures out what he is really feeling. 

So, the frequent texts might be his way of staying close as he sorts through his emotions, trying to understand if what he feels is strong enough to change the “friends” label to something more.

  1. Unintentionally insensitive

There is a chance he does not quite grasp how his frequent texting might be affecting you. In his mind, he is just reaching out for a friendly chat, not thinking about how it might come off. He might not realize that you could interpret his messages as something more than casual conversation. 

This lack of awareness is not intentional but he is simply enjoying the interaction without considering that it could be sending mixed signals. So, while his texts come with no strings attached in his view, they could be causing you to wonder about his real intentions, making the situation a bit confusing.

  1. He enjoys your company

He really might just enjoy talking to you! Your text conversations could be a highlight of his day, providing fun and comfort. For him, these chats are a pleasant part of his routine, like catching up with a good friend. 

There is a genuine, platonic connection he feels, and staying in touch regularly keeps that friendly vibe going. He values having you in his life as a friend, and these daily texts are his way of maintaining that connection he cherishes.

  1. Likes you more than a friend but is scared

It is entirely possible that he likes you more than just as a friend but is worried about taking the next step. He might be scared of being turned down or, even worse, damaging the great friendship you two already have. 

So, he holds back, sticking to texts as a safer way to stay close without risking too much. This hesitation is all about protecting what you both share, while he tries to figure out if it’s worth the risk to maybe turn it into something more.

  1. He is bored

Sometimes, the reason he texts you so often might just boil down to boredom. When he finds himself with nothing much to do, reaching out to you via text can be an easy and enjoyable way to fill the time. It is not necessarily about deep feelings or hidden motives but you are just a fun person to chat with when he is looking to keep himself entertained. 

So, if you notice he texts more during downtime, it could simply be his way of making those slow moments more interesting by engaging in a conversation with you.

  1. He is shy and unsure

If he is on the shy side, texting might just be his comfort zone. For someone who is naturally reserved, picking up the phone to chat can feel daunting, and face-to-face conversations might seem even scarier. Texting offers a safer space for him to express himself without the immediate pressure of responding right in the moment. 

He might also be unsure about how to take your friendship to another level or just how to clearly express what he is feeling. By sticking to texts, he can take his time to think things through and say things just right, helping him manage his shyness while still staying in touch.

  1. He really wants to be your friend

The simplest explanation is the right one: he really does want to be just friends. He values your friendship a lot and sees texting every day as a way to keep that connection strong. For him, these messages are a straightforward expression of his fondness for you and his interest in your life. 

He enjoys your company and the rapport you share, so he naturally wants to maintain it through regular communication. It is his way of making sure you know he is there and cares, reinforcing the bond you both enjoy.


Dealing with a situation where you are getting mixed signals can be really confusing. If his constant texting is leaving you puzzled or a bit frustrated, it might be a good idea to just talk about it openly. Sit down and share how you feel and what you are unsure about. 

It is completely fine to set some boundaries and ask directly about his intentions. This conversation can help clear up any misunderstandings and make sure both of you know where you stand.

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